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19 December 2011

I Hate Online Scrabble

Scrabble has been ruined!

I can’t believe it! I was bored a couple of nights ago and decided to go online to play a game. Bear in mind that it’s been a large number of years since I’ve teased the tiles, and even then I’m not sure that I knew all of the rules.

It was a bit of a faff, but I eventually ended up in a game with a well-built gentleman called Milflover. He didn’t seem that interested in playing so I quit that game and hooked up with Caroline. She was pretty good and was beating me comfortably before going silent. I was starting to worry about her; 7 minutes over the 2 minute limit and she still hadn’t played. This was unlike her. What on earth was going on? In the end I had to close that game down and try someone else. I do hope Caroline’s alright.

And that’s how I ended up with Naveed from Las Vegas.

The bile is starting to rise!

It’s been a couple of days now, and I’m still angry!

For me, the whole point of Scrabble is to come up with everyday words… the longer the better. Not our Naveed. I was dubious right from the off when he started with ‘avoider’. I’ll accept ‘avoid’, ‘avoids’, ‘avoiding’, but ‘avoider!’ Come on! Yeah, I suppose it’s technically a word, but have you ever heard anyone use it? Exactly!

I let it pass.

Two goes later and our Naveed was a hundred and something points ahead of me.

In my defence… I had some shocking tiles :-)

And this is where it all started to go pear-shaped. He started to make words up. The first was ‘obi’ which was closely followed by ‘er’ and the straw that broke the camel's back… a triple word combination of ‘ny’ and ‘fy’. What!?!

I went looking for the ‘these words are unacceptable to me’ button. There wasn’t one. Worse still, I discovered a dictionary tab that seemed to be actively encouraging the use of tiny obscure words. What!?!

And by the time that I got back to the board, I discovered that my 2 minute limit was up, and being the sportsman that he is, Naveed had skipped my go and was no doubt devising more random two letter combination words to taunt me with.

I wished him the best and rage-quit the game.

And I’m still angry!!!

So what’s gone wrong and who’s to blame?

The 'wrong' bit is easy… nit-picking memory-geeks have abducted scrabble. They’ve squeezed the creativity out of the game and left us with the wordy version of the Pub Quiz. Good God! These barstools love nothing more than to quibble over and remember pointless trivia – the more obscure the better. This is train-spotting... with words. How long until txt slang is allowed in scrabble? How long will it be before Naveed is allowed to slam down a cheeky ‘cu’ as in ‘cu l8rs’?

It’ll happen… you mark my words!

And I blame the internet. It does a lot of things right, but Scrabble’s not one of them. In the old days, these guys would never have made it out of the house. Now they’re cyber-lords!

I won’t be playing online scrabble again.

Merry Christmas.

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