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7 August 2012

Dead & Breakfast (2004)

“It’s like a bad horror movie... only worse!”

I’ve just finished watching “the U.S. answer to Shaun of the Dead”. Pah!

Please put a stake through my head!
Dead and Breakfast, Anchor Bay 2004

I’m conscious that I haven’t watched any films for a while, and after tonight’s little misadventure, I’m wishing that I’d kept it that way! I’m sorry, but I just didn’t get tonight’s film at all.

I don’t even want to review it... but I know I must...

Death by Cybals
Dead and Breakfast, Anchor Bay 2004

Let’s see if I can put together a few words for you. Don’t expect too much. Really, I blame zombies; They make me do all sort of stupid things. I only bought this DVD because it had zombies in it. Examining the cover I was suspicious that this was going to be pants and unfortunately I was right.

Believe me when I say that I started watching with an open mind. The opening credits of hand-drawn comic stills in black, white and red quickly drew me in. And when the title track started I was sitting up with a smile on my face. The tune playing was The Hillbilly Hellcats doing a rip-snorting psychobilly number called “Dead Man's Party”. This song sounds to me a lot like a rougher, souped-up Stray Cats. Great stuff!

Zachariah and the Lobos Riders
Dead and Breakfast, Anchor Bay 2004

Actually, music plays a big part in this film. It segways between scenes with corny little tunes sung by Zach Selwyn aka Zachariah of Zachariah and the Lobos Riders. They are quite terrible and that’s not in a good way. The words are almost as bad as the lip sync. I thought I quite liked one... “We're Comin' To Kill Ya”, but listening again, maybe not. I must confess that I’m not much of a fan of Country and Western, even if the zombies are line-dancing. Yep, you heard me... line-dancing zombies... sigh...

Sheriff Beardie
Dead and Breakfast, Anchor Bay 2004

Listen to me! I’ve got straight into a rambling criticism. I’d better tell you a bit about the plot before I wrap this up... and bury it in a deep hole in the garden where it so rightly belongs.

The plot:

A group of bickering twenty-somethings (or is it thirty-somethings?) are travelling cross-country to attend a chum’s wedding. Breaking the journey at a backward backwater town by the name of Lovelock the gang get caught up in a murder. Things then turn into some strange mystical zombie thing. Blah, blah, blah, pants, pants, pants.

Dead and Breakfast really, really wants to be funny. Unfortunately, there’s no humour to speak of. It makes me think of a terrible university group theatre production that has been turned into a film, only it probably didn’t work in the theatre either!

Super-scarey Zombies
Dead and Breakfast, Anchor Bay 2004

About the only thing worth a fleeting mention is the gore. There’s a little Dead-Alive-like blood and guts going on. I’d checked out long before this came on screen. It didn’t manage to reel me back in.

David Carradine is in the film.

The end.

On the Triple-B I’m going to award 1 point and 1 point only... and this is solely for the Hellcats.